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Dad surrounded by family the
week before he passed.
It was spring 2016. I had a job in "Corporate America" working in healthcare administration doing anything from fundraising for our Foundation to onboarding new hires.
Everything was going great. I worked 15 minutes from home (rare in my rural area). I could get my kids on and off the bus everyday and didn't have to fight city traffic. Then, my dad got sick.
Mom and Dad had a twelve year age gap, so even though Dad had retired years earlier, mom was still working full-time. We decided as a family that instead of putting him in a nursing home or, God-forbid, letting him pass away in a hospital, I would go parttime at my job, stay with Dad during the week, and Mom would be with him nights and weekends.
My self-induced pay cut wasn't the problem. Boredom was. My dad wasn't the same man he used to be. He no longer had the energy to have deep conversations with me like in days of ole. He slept a lot. When he was awake, he had O2 mask treatments that wouldn't let him talk even if he wanted.
Looking for a way to supplement my now part-time income, I created a business. I had grown up wanting to be a few things and one of those was a entrepreneur. It was finally time to stop thinking of business ideas like I'd done my whole life and just make one happen.
My event rental company was born. Since events mostly happen in the evenings and on weekends, I figured this would be the perfect business to start so I could continue taking care of my dad during the week.
I ordered tables, chairs, linens, a snow cone machine, and a popcorn machine to start. I got my LLC, created my logo, built a website, ordered business cards, rented a storage unit and was up and running in a month or so. I joined my local Chamber of Commerce.
I was busy nearly every weekend in the spring, summer, and fall, sometimes two and three events per weekend. Having been taking care of an end-of-life person through the week, helping people during some of the happiest moments of their lives (bridal showers, weddings, baby showers, birthdays, family reunions, and so much more) and networking at Chamber events was just what I needed.
However, I had noticed early on that no one in the Chamber "looked" like me. I was the only female entrepreneur. Members that showed up to meetings included an insurance agent, a nursing home CEO, a winery marketing director, the Mayor, a mortgage loan officer, and the list goes on. They were all great people and very important to our community, but there were times I was lonely. No one "got" me: the female entrepreneur mom.
Dad passed away at the end of 2016, peacefully at home.
I kept my event rental company going for a few more years, even through a divorce.
I got busy enough that I hired a part-time worker. I needed more help than that, but the revenue wasn't there to pay both operating expenses (storage unit rent, marketing, advertising, etc.), and someone full-time wages. Burnout was setting in, fast. I was still attending Chamber meetings and networking, but I still didn't really feel like I fit in in the mostly white-collared white male world.
I ventured to the next town over and networked with some Main Street business owners. We went to lunch together a few times, but nothing much came of it, mostly because I was still in burnout mode and didn't keep the group engaged like I should have.
In 2019 I heard that "inner voice" tell me to get out of the business. I was fine with it. By now I had major burnout, not enough help, and since I started the business while taking care of my dad, exiting felt like a good way to close that sad chapter of my life.
Due to my networking in the Chamber, I was able to sell to a local company who wanted to more easily offer weddings on their grounds.
I took a few months in the summer of 2019 to heal my soul and travel with my daughters. We'd had a rough past few years. Losing my dad, their grandpa, was the first major loss they'd had in their short lives. We visited three beaches that summer including their first International trip.
Toward the end of summer 2019, I got back into Corporate America working once again in healthcare but fully in HR (Human Resources) this time.
In comes spring 2020. Covid hits and the world is in chaos. I, however, was at peace and thankful I had listened to that little voice that told me to sell my company.
As we all know, weddings, baby showers, family reunions, and corporate events... they had all come to a screeching halt. I wouldn't have had any business, and according to the stipulations on the small business grants issued during Covid, it's likely I would have fallen through the cracks. I wouldn't have had any money either.
Within a week of Covid hitting my area, I was furloughed from that corporate job. I didn't know it at the time, but I was pregnant. I went back to that job after a couple months, but my boyfriend and I were laid off three months later, on the same day. Thankfully I was able to get severance pay and unemployment due to having that "real" job, but it was tricky going on job interviews with a six month pregnant belly.
Had Dad not gotten sick, I may have never started that first business.
Had I not felt out of place at Chamber meetings, I may not have started Mud on My Stilettos.
Had I not gotten burn out during my first business, I may not have sold in time to travel in 2019 with my girls before the world shut down.
Had I not sold my business, I'd have never gotten the job where I met the love of my life and the father of my two beautiful boys.
Had I not gotten laid off, I would have gotten even less rest during my high-risk pregnancy.
Had my dad been alive during the pandemic, he may have died in even more pain than he did.
This blog post started out titled "Why I Created a Female Accountability Membership," and while that story is related to this one, I will have to tell it later. My heart began to take this post in a different direction, so I just went with it.
I guess the point of this story is that whether you are dealing with death, sadness, loneliness, burnout, heartache, furloughs, layoffs, or pandemics, there is always a silver lining.
Someone must have needed to hear that today.